I used to sing. A lot. Grew up on it.
The hymns of Mount Pleasant. Mr. Adam Smith in his dark blue pressed overalls would put a hand over his left ear and beat time with his right. I will arise and go to Jesus, he will embrace me in his arms, in the arms of my dear Savior, oh, there are ten thousand charms. Endless verses waiting for the Spirit to move... Just as I am without one plea, but that thy blood was shed for me, and that thou bidd'st me come to thee, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.
Mama in the kitchen, a wavery soprano, Beulah Land, sweet Beulah Land... wafting in the Alabama breeze. Daddy at the pulpit with pursed lips and rich baritone, Acres of diamonds, mountains of gold, rivers of silver, jewels untold. All these together, wouldn't buy you or me, peace when we're sleeping or a conscience that's free. A heart that's contented, a satisfied mind, these are the treasures, money can't buy. If you have Jesus, there's more wealth in your soul, than acres of diamonds, mountains of gold.
Sunday School ditties: Zacchaeus was a wee little man..... Wise man built his house upon a rock.... Jesus loves the little children.... Jesus loves me, this I know.
Youth ballads: Kum ba ya.... It only takes a spark... By the waters of Babylon, we lay down and wept for thee, Zion... Seek ye first the kingdom of God.
The big choir years: We shall behold him... The day he wore my crown... Crown him King of Kings, crown him Lord of Lords....
The band years: Amazing grace, my chains are gone... Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, with all your strength... You're a good, good Father... Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, holy, holy is he, sing a new song to him who sits on heaven's mercy seat... I could sing of your love forever... Oh, how he loves us... Oh, how he loves...
I haven't been singing much lately. You could say I have lost my voice in this pandemic. If I'm being honest it has gone beyond the singing, down to the bone. I'm having trouble finding the voice of me. I've tried to say things... hard things... important things... but it comes out rusty and caked with futility. What is there that isn't being flung out already? Being alternately amen'd and vilified? I realize I miss it. The freedom of speech, of song. Expression without evisceration.
And so. This morning, in my kitchen, I've trekked back along my Sunday memories and, vocal chords greased with tears, tried to sing again. It's not pretty. There is no microphone this time - thanks be to God! But the shell is cracking a little and there is light seeping in around the edges. Love's redeeming work is, well, at work. And I'll take it. Selah.
Today's Memory Playlist ...
Come, Ye Sinners, Poor and Needy - Joseph Hart
Just As I Am - William Batchelder Bradbury/Charlotte Elliott
Beulah Land - Squire Parsons
Acres of Diamonds - Arthur Smith
Jesus Loves the Little Children - Clarence Herbert Woolston
Jesus Loves Me - Anna Bartlett Warner
The Wise Man and the Foolish Man - Ann Omley
Kum Ba Yah - Martin V. Frey
Pass it On - Kurt Kaiser
Seek Ye First - Karen Lafferty
We Shall Behold Him - Dottie Rambo
The Day He Wore My Crown - Phil Johnson
Crown Him King of Kings - Don Moen
Amazing Grace, My Chains are Gone - Chris Tomlin
Love the Lord your God - Graeme Stewart
Good, Good Father - Chris Tomlin
Revelation Song - Jennie Lee Riddle
I Could Sing of Your Love Forever - Martin Smith
How He Loves - John Mark McMillan
Others - Unknown
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