'Tis the season for all of us June brides - the celebration of anniversaries. I'm loving all the Facebook posts with sweet tributes and photos from fun getaways. Some word-y and sentimental... some short and sweet. Hubby summed up the day with a picture of me across the booth with "34 years today" in the caption. My new best friend commented he thought it was my birthday celebration, not anniversary - thanks P.H. To mark the day, I made my first sign board (yeah, late to the party as usual - just got it off the Amazon) pictured above with the dates and "still the one" as the only commentary. (Orleans, not Shania - though hers is nice, too.) You just got to love a love song that has the line "sometimes I never want to see you again" in it. It takes a lot of nerve to be that honest. It is truthful, if not terribly romantic. Actually, the romance is that you stay, even when you feel like that. You hang around and wait for the laughing and whispering to come back around. Because it usually does. And it's worth the wait.
My friend, Myra, wrote recently about marriage and the importance of being nice to one another. (Check it out here: tranquiliving.com/all-the-married-ladies ) It got me to thinking about a show that used to be on television back in the 80's - thirtysomething. Hubby and I liked to watch it and could sort of identify with the characters - some of the episodes hitting especially close to home. There was this one time when Hope and Michael were having an argument - she was disappointed about something he did and he asked what kind of guy she wanted to be married to. Her response was "somebody like you only nicer." We looked at each other and burst out laughing. You see, my father-in-law was this legendary grumpy-old-man-wrapped-around-a-sweetheart-guy and let's just say the apple fell pretty close to the tree - if you know what I mean. (Are you allowed to use that many hyphens? - probably-not.) He/they aren't really mean, just not particularly nice all the time. And. While we're telling the truth, I have days when I'm a little on the grumpy side, too. I know. Shocker. This dynamic-predisposition has resulted in a few not-so-nice moments along the marriage-path. Once in a while, in the heat of the moment, one of us will interject that quote "somebody like you only nicer" and it never fails to usher in a little levity along with some much-needed perspective. Kind of breaks the anger-ice and makes it ok to laugh in the middle of the fuss. I think there's probably some scientific principle in there: laughter diffuses angst, maybe - should be if it's not. Works for kids, too. My Oldest once said to me, "We should always laugh when I'm in trouble." It gives space to step back and remember we need to be nicer even when we don't agree. And that's some darn-good theology whether you're married or not - from television of all places. So, thanks, Hollywood?
Here's the thing. Marriage is not all rainbows and unicorns and sparkles. It's hard. But so worth it. I have had a couple of "what if" conversations recently - one with the Hubby and one with some girlfriends. Each of us agreed that we just wouldn't be interested in another marriage should our spouse go on ahead of us to Glory - not that any of us plan on departing any time soon. There's not one thing wrong with finding new love after death (real or relational), but we each said we'd choose to live on our own for the rest of the journey. Warning to our children: Prepare yourselves - your Dad said he would buy a Winnebago and split his time between y'all if I go first. My girlfriends said, "We got good ones - good enough for a lifetime." How's that for romance?
For me, upon marking #34, let me just say there's way more good than bad behind us and I'm counting on that trend. I'll be forever grateful for the honor of walking with you through this earth. I don’t want somebody just like you - I want you... and you're almost always nice enough. Still the one. Selah.
We've been together since way back when Sometimes I never want to see you again But I want you to know, after all these years You're still the one I want whisperin' in my ear
You're still the one -- I want to talk to in bed Still the one -- that turns my head We're still having fun, and you're still the one
I looked at your face every day But I never saw it 'til I went away When winter came, I just wanted to go (wanted to go) Deep in the desert, I longed for the snow
You're still the one -- that makes me laugh
Still the one -- that's my better half We're still having fun, and you're still the one
You're still the one -- that makes me strong Still the one -- I want to take along We're still having fun, and you're still the one (yes you are)
Changing, our love is going gold Even though we grow old, it grows new
You're still the one -- that I love to touch Still the one -- and I can't get enough We're still having fun, and you're still the one
You're still the one -- who can scratch my itch Still the one -- and I wouldn't switch We're still having fun, and you're still the one
You are still the one -- that makes me shout
Still the one -- that I dream about
We're still having fun, and you're still the one
You're still the one, yeah still the one We're still having fun, and you're still the one
Songwriters: Johanna Hall / Johanna D Hall / John Hall / John J Hall Still the One lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
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