The boys were getting older and spending more and more time away from us and each other. It happens. And it's not inherently bad. Independence is a sign of maturity. Building a community of friends is important at any age. And they had great communities. But family is the core, the heart. So, when friend-time eclipsed family-time, I did what any good, mean mom would do, I instituted Forced Family Fun nights. There were a few simple guidelines: date and time was determined in advance and agreed upon; boys got a say in what we did; family only - they could meet friends later but his was just the Jeremias tribe. We didn't do this every week, only occasionally. And we had fun. FFF is the reason I once found myself playing laser tag in high heels. The plan was to go to dinner at a nice restaurant so I dressed up a little. Then they decided we should play laser tag. I lost. Partially due to the heels and partially due to the fact that I laughed hysterically the whole time making it really easy to find and "tag" me.
There was one more serious FFF night. We went to dinner then returned home for a bit. It was late summer and the boys were both headed back to college soon. We sat in the living room together and asked what they would have us to pray for them. I knew what I wanted for them and prayed regularly and specifically (and maybe a little selfishly) for them based on my priorities. But hadn't asked them. So we asked. And they shared their requests. Those are not mine to tell in this space but suffice it to say, it was humbling and beautiful to hear their hearts. Hubby and I knelt before them and submitted those requests to God. Then we each read or spoke a blessing over them. Words of affirmation and hope for their future. And then they went off for the rest of the evening with their friends. The answers to those prayers, by the way, were more than we could have imagined.
I'm sure they complained about Forced Family Fun to their friends who didn't understand why we took the boys out of social circulation for a few hours, but that's ok. Both of them have told us they are glad we did. Now they have young families of their own. And there will come a day when they have to decide how to keep their tribe strong. I have a feeling there may be a few more Forced Family Fun nights in the future. Tonight, we will all be under the same roof - three generations of this Jeremias branch. This doesn't happen often so I am beside myself with anticipation. And I'm looking forward to some un-forced fun!
FFF is the way we held close to one another. Whatever that looks like for your family, make it a priority. And it you want your heart to explode, ask your children what they would like for you to pray on their behalf. Then sit back and watch God show off. Selah
These books are really good if you want to explore blessing and prayer: The Gift of the Blessing by John Trent and Gary Smalley & Praying for Your Adult Children by Stormie Omartian
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