Not too long before I flew the coop and headed off to Meredith for college, I went to this mother-daughter luncheon at the church with Beatrice (emphasis on the "at"). There was a guest speaker and I can't for the life of me remember who it was... but she talked about the Proverbs 31 woman. This was way before Lysa and Proverbs 31 ministries - possibly even before she was born. Ugh. Anyway. This lady said something like: "There are 31 verses in Proverbs 31 - one for every day of the month - so if you want to know what God has planned for your life, look at the verse corresponding with the day you were born." Here's how it works: I was born on the 9th so my verse is, "Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy." I know y'all totally just stopped reading and opened up Proverbs 31 to see what your verse is. That's fine. Take your time.
Looking back, I think she must have been joking. I hope so anyway. I mean, what if you were born on the 6th... or the 7th? Look it up. I'll wait. Crazy, right? But, at the time, I did not get it. I took her seriously. Very seriously. I was headed off to college without a plan. I enjoyed home-arts... cooking, sewing, etc. I was really good at math and loved literature. But I had no clue what to do with all that. Then along came good old what's-her-name at the ladies lunch and I, all of a sudden, decided I should be a lawyer... public defender. I wish I was making this up. But this is how I ended up with a degree in history and a minor in political science. I kid you not. Well, I'm obviously not a lawyer. I actually still love to bake and quilt; I read and write for fun; and I do data analysis for a global bank. Funny how all that worked out.
As a young wife and mother, I came to see the folly of interpreting Proverbs 31 as a birth-date-life-planner and I studied the rest of the verses before and after #9. I became very familiar with this wonder woman and started to call her by her first name... Ruby. Extrapolated from verse 10. Now the pendulum swung wildly in the other direction. Instead of one verse applied to my life, I made a template out of all 31 of them and tried to smoosh myself into the mold. If you haven't already read the whole chapter, take a minute. Maybe even make a list of all the stuff ole Ruby got up to. Here's a rundown: advocates for the poor and needy; has a good reputation; takes care of the house; good wife; good mother; good cook; collects wool and flax, spins it, dyes it red and purple and uses it to make clothes and bedspreads and even sells sashes on the side; she's a farmer, merchant, real estate investor, financial planner and teacher; she is wise and dignified; has a good sense of humor; industrious (not lazy) - stays up late and gets up early; and everybody loves her. Can you imagine if she was on Instagram?
You might predict how that plan worked out for me. About as well at the verse 9 thing. I was exhausted and frustrated and defeated. The Ruby-cape about strangled me and I was ticked off - who could live up to that? I threw my hands up in surrender - destined to be a failure at womanhood - and proceeded not to give a care what any of the verses in Proverbs 31 said.
A couple of years went by before I took another pass at the Ruby story. This time two amazing things jumped out at me. First, what if this is the story of her lifetime - not a recounting of a day in her life? It makes so much more sense to view the chapter as her accumulated years of accomplishments instead of a daily to-do list. What a difference that makes! Ain't perspective grand? And second, she had help! Right there in verse 15. I had skipped over it since it wasn't my verse and all. She had servants. Not advocating for indentured servitude here.... but, maybe a house cleaner occasionally... a sitter once in a while... help. We all need help. Even Wonder-Ruby had help!
So... if your cape is cutting off circulation and you're just plain wore out with whatever it is you're trying to do... might I suggest a step back. Not full retreat but maybe a few minutes in the back yard just breathing. A walk if you've got time. A good stretch. Put on some red lipstick and maybe dig out that dress with the twirly skirt - even if it shows your back rolls. Take a spin around the kitchen. Light a yummy candle. Eat some chocolate. Chocolate is always good. Ask for help. And be good to yourself. You've got the rest of your lifetime to be a Ruby and you are far more precious - it's right there in verse 10. Just take it one, lovely, graceful day at a time. Selah.
Dear Readers from yesterday,
Please don't worry about little Judy Ann. She grew up and bought her own tiara at the Hobby Lobby - 40% off of course.
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