I was looking for an address the other day and happened upon Mama's little notebook. It's a DayRunner... remember those? Before Outlook or Google Calendar. Before smart phones and the cloud remembered stuff for us and we had to do it for ourselves. Mama kept important names, addresses and phone numbers listed on little sheets of paper organized in alphabetical tabs in this little ringed book with a burgundy faux-leather textured cover. I took a minute to page through it. All the extended family is listed - many have moved several times since she wrote her notes. Way too many no longer living. Lots of friends. Some couples no longer couples. Random contacts for things like hairdressers (hit me up if you need the number for the beauty shop in "Walmark" - not sure what city), a strawberry farm, several "car phones" and a beeper, and the room number for Sunday School class (to be fair, it was a big church so...). Our birthdays and anniversaries are in there along with all her brothers' and sister's - individual tabs for birthdays and anniversaries but dates duplicated in both sections - just to be sure. There are several grocery lists on scraps of paper tucked in the pages (butter, cereal, gatorade, toothpaste, tootsie rolls, preserves), recipes for home remedies (cough: 2 parts honey 1 part vinegar; head cold: 1 T warm honey 1/4 tsp cinnamon), a book she wanted to read (A Cup of Christmas Tea), a couple of deposit slips for accounts long closed, a letter from the secretary of Crossville High School class of '38 (complete with the obituary of a classmate in the envelope and a description of the flowers she sent on behalf of them all), and a Reader's Digest subscription card with math scribbles all over it. Then, on the very back page, this:
God's way is the best way
I asked the Lord for a bunch of fresh flowers
but instead he gave me an ugly cactus
with many thorns.
I asked the Lord for some beautiful butterflies
but instead he gave me many dreadful, ugly worms
I was threatened
I was disappointed
I mourned
But after many days suddenly
I saw the cactus bloom with many beautiful flowers
and those worms become beautiful butterflies
flying in the wind
God's way is the best way
I can just see her sitting in a Sunday School class (Room 1309) or in her recliner watching a TV preacher, when she heard this. She would have scrambled to find her little book and scratch it out on the back page before she forgot - making corrections with arrows and cross outs. I don't know everything about Mama but I do know there were some thorns and worms along her way. Days of disappointment and mourning. Dreadful things, ugly things. Threatening days. But she sure did have her share of flowers and butterflies, too. And she lived for those. Maybe that's where I learned to look for beauty in ugly places. Thanks, Mama, for writing this down. And for the advice you continue to send from the other side. I'll be glad to pass it along. Tell everybody up there I said, "Hey." We're doing find down here. Save us a place. Selah.
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